Monday, March 5, 2012

:: Excuse Me, Your Pride Is Showing ::

Lack of blogging?
Yep, that's me.
This past week-and-a-bit have been challenging for us around here.
We've been getting some help from a family member to whip our finances into shape.....and there's been a lot of whipping going on, as well as a lot of tears, frustration, feeling completely overwhelmed.
We've had to make some serious and hard decisions - but what I am learning, is where there is much hardship and many trials, there is also much grace, and many provisions.
We were trying to get until the next paycheck and spend as little as possible, which meant that our cupboards were, well, they would have given Old Mother Hubbard a run for her money.
We were trying to make it work, but not having a variety of rations to feed a girlfriend and her kids during a Friday play date was hard. But I have great (amazing, incredible, supportive, honest, true, real, awesome) friends, and she was more than happy to bring along some food to contribute to lunch. When she showed up, it wasn't with a couple of things for the kids to eat, but with almost a dozen bags of groceries, for me.
I cried.
I didn't know how to say thank you.
She mentioned she didn't grab any chicken, that she had thought of it, but didn't.
Then I cried some more, because the day before another girlfriend called to tell me after praying about it, felt led to give us a box of chicken.
Did I need a reminder that God cares that I need chicken.
That that story is one of many I could tell, just in the last week, of God pouring out provisions.
It is incredible.
And hard.
I never considered myself a prideful person, but allowing myself permission to receive is hard. Much harder than I thought it would be.
Then I thought about the gift of salvation. A gift that is free and not only free but that I have done nothing to earn and can do nothing to pay it back. And how I just have to unfold my arms, open my hands and lift my face and say "Yes".
I have to allow my pride and desire to be good enough fall away and believe how much I am loved and with how much grace that gift is given.
So pardon my absence - I've been spending all of my computer time combing over the financials, planning and checking and double checking everything.
God is good - and I don't say that lightly.
He's provided extra work on Saturdays for my husband and the prospect of some at home work for me.
Blessed be His name.


Meg Baxter said...

I needed to read/hear this today. Thank you.

Shawna said...

He ALWAYS provides and you are most definitely on His list my lovely friend! Love to you always! You both make us VERY proud to call you friend let alone family! xoXo from you very teary SIL ;)

Crystal said...

This post hits so close to home for me as we have had a rough couple of years in the $ department and it's hit in all time hard place these last couple of months. I have to give my fear daily to God and am learning a whole new layer of trust in this daunting time! So I am standing in faith with you and praying prosperity for both our humble little families!

Carmelle said...

powerful. thank you for sharing.

Laura said...

Again, something that we are dealing with around our parts too... it's really hard on the pride that's for sure! I've had some encouragement lately as I'm doing a Beth Moore study on James... "consider it pure joy my brothers whenever you face trials of many kinds..." trying to see what God would have us learn, how He would choose to bless us in these tough times has brought a much needed change in perspective - pure joy. I'll be praying for you guys as we are often on our knees about our own situation. Thank you for being so honest about this - something us Christians could use a little more of is some humble honesty, 'cause no one is alone in their struggles.